


Reunited

by Hadithi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, SJAU, end of a break up arc, snippet from a large collab, soft jock AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadithi/pseuds/Hadithi
Summary: Piece from an ongoing AU collab where Steven and Connie meet in college, and everything else remains the same.After a long breakup, Steven and Connie reunite at a party to apologize and work through past traumas.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 23
Kudos: 217





	Reunited

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: Steven and Connie met in college rather than as kids, so Steven goes through the entire original series alone. They slowly grow close, get together, then breakup when Connie discovers Steven has been hiding how dangerous his missions are, and walks in on him being taken to the fountain after being cracked and coughing up blood. During their time apart, Steven and Connie dreamwalk to one another without knowing what they're doing.
> 
> And then this happens.
> 
> Here's a very detailed Google Doc for a comprehensive outline of this giant AU: [Soft Jock AU Outline](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YDhTnaMYpdc6Wdt4qdSNJo5SwipG5O4qohNj8fbA4O8/edit)
> 
> And here's a master post of all things currently drawn and written for it: [Soft Jock AU Masterpost](https://universallywriting.tumblr.com/post/189503836398/soft-jock-au-masterpost)

Connie had come to the party to talk things out. Natalie, mutual friend and owner of the house the party was taking place in, had said Steven was ready, but Steven had caught her eye across the busy house and vanished into the crowd, so she had run away. He had looked so shocked to see her, almost hurt at the sight of her. So Connie crept upstairs, down the hall, to the huge master bedroom Natalie had declared off limits under penalty of death. Her fingers hesitated on the doorknob. She could go back down, try to force her way through the crowd. Lion was waiting for her outside. If she could just slip past Steven… but no. She couldn’t manage it. She was sure to run into him, and the volume and pressure of the party would make pushing her way through the crowd a pain anyway. She’d sneak out later.

She pushed open the door and shut out the noisy party behind her with a quiet click. That was better. The room was all blue, gray and cream, minimalist but expensive looking decor. A lot of glass, a lot of stainless steel, everything seemed engineered to show evidence of fingerprints or being nudged out of place. The floor was hardwood, so she laid down on it. Surely Natalie’s parents could tell whether someone disturbed the floor. Connie did her best to stay still, and carefully tugged her shoes off so she wouldn’t leave scuff marks.

She flipped on a podcast and closed her eyes, hoping the night would be over soon, when a quiet knock came at the door. She scrambled for her phone, pausing the sound, and dropped her voice low to disguise it. “Someone’s in here. Get your own room.”

Steven’s nervous laugh came from the other side. “Connie, you’re listening to a radical politics podcast alone at a party. I know it’s you.”

She carefully tugged her shoes back on, calling, “Do you want me to go?”

“I want to talk.” The handle turned, then stopped. “Can we talk?”

She stopped, staring at the door with her shoes half on. “I…yeah. Yes. Of course we can.”

He stepped in, looking at eye level for her, then winced as he saw her curled up on the floor. “Having a bad night?”

“Nah. Saw some guy with broad shoulders and made a hasty retreat.” That got a little chuckle of out him, and the sound of it was a knife in her heart. She has  _ missed _ that sound. She was supposed to be mad at him. She glared up, ready to give him a piece of her mind, but when she met his eyes they were already full of tears, and her righteous anger faded away into worry and hope.

“I’m really sorry I kept saying it wasn’t a big deal,” he said, not bothering to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. “You were scared and trying to be there for me and I made you feel like I didn’t want you there. I tried to pretend there wasn’t a problem, but that just hurt you.”

“It did,” she whispered. “A lot. Steven, you were-” A splash of red on pale skin scraped across her eyes, making them burn, and her voice hitched from the memory. “You were cracked. You didn’t tell me about any of this. And then you told me nothing was wrong, and I shouldn’t worry about it and… and don’t you get that I want to be there? I thought with the sword training and spar practice and  _ Stevonnie _ that I could fight by your side.”

“I didn’t want to risk you getting hurt.” He sank down to the floor with her, almost close enough to touch. But they didn’t do that anymore. “So I got hurt on my own. And then I acted like I didn’t hurt you too. That wasn’t fair.”

She laughed a little, wiping her own wet eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best. I ran away from you. Doesn’t sound like the bravest knight.”

“No! I know you’d fight with me if I let you! I know you’d be there for me. I…” He rocked forward, rocked back, struggling to speak. His hand raised to her, wanting to touch her, and she wanted to tell him he could. “I wish you had been there when White… I have dreams that you’re there. That I wasn’t all alone when she…”

It was too much to bear. She rushed forward, her arms wrapped tight around his neck and his wrapped tight around her waist. Connie could hear the hiccups in his breath, the shake in his body that meant he was trying not to cry, and whispered in his ear, “Do you want to go somewhere more alone? This feels big.”

He nodded. “Just a second.”

When Steven was composed enough, she took his hand and lead him through the party. Too many people pressed around her, too much noise beat at her ears, and her heart pounded in her chest as social anxiety clawed into her breast. But Steven was hurt. He needed her. So she focused on his hand in hers and pushed through, out the back door. Lion was there, and they climbed up on his back. Steven first, and then his effortless strength tugging her up behind him.

Connie wrapped her arms around his waist. “Where to?”

“Anywhere,” he croaked. “Lion, we want to be alone. Can you take us somewhere, bud?”

Connie barely caught the sight of Natalie’s drunken excitement at the two of them back together before the world went blue and white and blurred, then back out into night. They shuffled off his back as they emerged on a beach. Connie sized up the environment. Sand glowed white in the moonlight as waves fell softly against the shore. Beautiful crystals littered the island deeper in, along with streams and lush greenery. The night sky above them was dark and beautiful, with stars shining down, miles away from any light pollution.

She got her bearings. Stars indicated they were near the equator, likely south of it. No way to tell if it was Atlantic or Pacific yet. A glance around showed no monsters, no mysterious gem magic, or anything threatening. A glance to Steven showed him looking upset, but not worried, so there wasn’t any danger. She felt tension in her shoulders ease and stepped close to him. Alone and safe. “Want to talk?”

“It’s a lot,” he said quietly. His eyes met hers, then looked away guiltily. “It’ll take a while.”

“I’ve got time. Steven, I don’t want to be left behind again. I’m not just here for the cool shield of the convenient healing. I’m all in.” She took his hand and laughed a little, nervous even though she had said it plenty of times before. “And, with the reasonable part of out the way - I’m in love with you. Really, stupidly desperately in love with you. I knew you were a lot when we got into this, and I wanted to be there. You can’t scare me away with your baggage, Steven.”

“You sure?” he asked, trying to joke. “It’s really weird shaped. Has a lot of ugly stickers on it. It’s this gross neon pink and  _ super _ heavy.”

“Mine’s kind of heavy too, but you know what?” Connie waited for him to look back at him and grinned. “Stevonnie’s strong enough to carry it. We can do  _ anything _ together. We’ve got proof every time we fuse. You’ve just got to talk to me, Steven. We can get through this. I can take it. Tell me everything.”

He stared at her for a moment, barely breathing, and then started hard: “White Diamond ripped me in half, and I remember being both parts of me. I remember dying in two places at once.”

She kicked off her shoes and socks, and tugged him down to the sand with her. He looked disbelieving still, and she did have to admit she felt the tiniest bit of frustration that he couldn’t just believe she was able to handle it. She thought about pulling his head down into her lap, aching for the intimacy they had lost, but it felt too pushy to try. Connie just murmured, “Keep going. You told me this part already.”

His brows wrinkled together in confusion. “No, I haven’t.”

“You did,” she said patiently. “White held you in her hand and used her nails to rip out your gem.”

Steven stared at her. “How do you know that?”

A dream _ of being frozen to the spot, unable to move as she watched a towering woman, too big to be real, clutch a child in her hands. Words she didn’t understand, some sort of dream logic sentence about coming out. No sound in the room but frantic breath, the world so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The boy discarded to the floor, a pointed diamond in her hand. _

Connie dreamed it, and it was true, so… “You must have told me. I remember the story.”

“I’ve never told anyone that,” he said, almost snapping at her.

“You told me.”

“When?” he leaned forward, eyes wide with so much shock and confusion she leaned back from it.

She fumbled for the memory, of when he told her something so important, but it slipped through her fingers. All she had were dreams of it. “I can’t remember.”

“Me neither.” Steven eyed her for a moment. He could have asked her to tell the rest of it, to prove she knew, but he searched her face as he continued, “Everyone was possessed. Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst. It was just me. All alone. She took out my gem and it’s… it’s like my brain was ripped in half? I was in two places at once, and neither part of me was right. She put half of me down on the floor, and held the other half in her hand.”

He closed his eyes, his hands forming a small circle at his belly as he took a few shaky breaths. “Um, I… Half of me was really weak. I was barely awake, barely able to move. I wanted to fall asleep and knew falling asleep meant dying. I had to get to my other half. And then the other half was… too hot? Like a fever? Or too much coffee. There was so much energy and it was pouring out of me.”

“That sounds awful,” Connie said, resting her hand on his knee.  _ A child crawling across the floor, too weak to even scream. Just begging. An emotionless pink form across the room. _ “Really awful.”

“It was. White attacked with everyone, and I put up a shield, but I was hurting them. So I yelled at myself to stop, because-”

“She was hurting everyone,” Connie said, unable to stop herself from interrupting. But he had to know. He couldn’t say something like that so casually, like it was true. “You had a shield. You reflected it back at her. That’s not you, that’s her.”

A sob slipped out and he nodded. “Yeah. She was hurting everyone. So I put up a shield and that knocked her down. And I went as fast as I could to myself. And then it was really good, Connie. That part was really, really good. I knew who I was and I was together and whole and…” Another sob, curling up, and she wanted to hug him more than anything. It hurt not to be hugging him, but she didn’t know what they were or what she was supposed to do, so she rubbed his back and listened. “I was still all alone. I was really happy, but I had to do all of it alone. She took  _ everyone _ , Connie. It was just me, all by myself, and everyone I ever loved turned against me.”

She broke again, the child from her dreams whimpering in her ears. “Can I hug you?”

“Please.”

Connie pushed his head to her chest, her hand tangled in his hair as she rocked him and soothed him. Her curled up around her, crying into her shirt with heavy, stuttering gasps. The hand that wasn’t in his hair touched him, sliding over his face and neck and chest and back, just everywhere she could reach as she clung to him. Anything to remind Steven he wasn’t alone right now. Words poured out of her, mindless comforting babbling of “it’s okay” and “I love you” and “you did so good”. Praise and love and just being there, until he could breathe again.

“Connie,” he said, voice ragged. “I never told you that.”

“No,” she whispered, face buried in his hair. “I’d remember that. I’ll never forget this.”

He trembled. “I’ve had dream where you were there. Where you carried me. I wanted you there so badly. I think I wanted you so bad I… Connie, I’ve got some powers that you don’t know about. They never… I mean, not a lot, so I didn’t think…”

She’s known it for a while, somewhere in the back of her mind. Something about the sudden lucid dreaming, the focus, the realness of her nightmares and dreams was always off. Of course it was him. “You can dreamwalk.”

“Yeah.”

Connie took a deep breath through her nose, and it came out as an embarrassed groan. “You’ve had some  _ weird  _ dreams, haven’t you?”

He laughed, nervous and near hysterical. “ _ We  _ had weird dreams.”

She fell onto her back, taking her with him, and Steven’s arms clutched her tight. Her eyes closed, savoring that, despite all the pain and misery and fear of what was to come, he was there. They were together again. And if all those dreams were real, she wasn’t sure she had any baggage left to scare him off. She bounced a curl and stared up at the stars, feeling herself start to smile despite it all. “Okay. Let’s keep going.”

“Round two,” he said, practically purring with contentment.

She had heard him purr like that before, when they  _ were nestled up in his house, in front of the fireplace. His head was resting in her lap as he looked up at her, eyes sleepy and content. “Even after learning all the stuff with Eyeball, you’re still here. I thought that was going to be the one that-” He was cut off as she took advantage of his open mouth to shove a marshmallow in. She takes advantage of gagging him to interrupt, “None of them are going to be the one that chases me away.” _

Connie scratched his head slowly. “The dream where you told me about Eyeball? That was the real me, acting like me. I wasn’t controlled or anything.”

“Were you ever?” he asked, stiffening a little.

She thought about it. “Not exactly. I was frozen once. The first time I saw the thing with White Diamond. The rest of them are all just dreams, more or less lucid. I don’t ever question why I am where I am or the rules of what’s going on, but everything I did was always me.”

“Do you think you could say no?”

_ They were in the rain, and it beat down on them in stinging, ice cold needles. He was shouting at her. “You won’t tell me anything real! Every time I ask what high school was like or what you did growing up or try to get inside your head it feels like you put down a wall! Just  _ talk to me _!” Thunder boomed and lightning struck in the distance, and she ripped  _ from the dream and woke in a cold sweat.

“Yes,” she said tightly. “I could leave when I wanted.”

He relaxed in her arms. “Good. Okay. Um, the… the stuff with White first. That was really you in the dream? It was so weird. I… I’ve seen pictures of you as a kid, so I think I made you around my age?”

“That explains why I had problems picking up an eight year old,” she mumbled, the corrected, “An eight year old  _ body _ . You were fourteen. I remember that.”

_ She hated this dream. Every time she stood, frozen to the spot, and did nothing as Steven screamed and crawled. Her fingers twitched. Her muscles tensed. White set Steven’s body to the floor and she screamed. Because this time, it would be different. This time, her legs were unstuck from the floor. This time, she could slide her arms under his legs and back and it  _ hurt _ but she could lift him. _

He whispered, “You carried me. I had that dream so many times. I was always alone and scared. And it was still scary, with you there, but it was better. When I fused with myself, I was just happy. I was just Steven, but just Steven wasn’t all alone. I had a friend there, someone she couldn’t take away. But, um, I’m sorry. I made you…”

_ She loved and hated this dream. If only she could skip the first half. She was no longer frozen, but time and time again she watched him get ripped in half. She lifted him. She gave him to himself and went through the whiplash of misery to joy as Steven laughed and came back to himself, and the two of them giggled about White Diamond as if she wasn’t anything. Of course she wasn’t. They were together, and the gems were okay. What did she matter? _

“Don’t apologize. I’m honored to be there,” Connie murmured. Her hand slipped under the collar of his shirt to scratch his back. She swallowed. “Besides, I dragged you into mine, didn’t I?”

“We could talk about it,” he suggested.

Fear slid down her spine. Stupid, trivial fears and humiliating trauma. She pushed it back to him, “Maybe we should talk about Eyeball and Bismuth.”

“We did, though. In the dreams. That was us.” 

His hand slid up against her belly, warm and broad and always surprisingly soft, and she had  _ never really thought much about being pregnant, but somehow she was. She was married too, and the blue steel band around her finger made her head spin before Steven’s hand rested against her swollen abdomen. “Do you really think I’ll be a good dad? Rose Quartz wasn’t really a good mom. Or a good leader. Or a good person, sometimes.” _

_ “Of course you will,” Connie said. His breath was shaking, and she murmured, “What are you thinking about?” _

_ “I stabbed Bismuth like she did. I stabbed her with her sword. I didn’t mean to.” _

_ She crooned, “Shh, baby. It’s okay. Just breathe. Tell me everything again. Let’s get through it.” _

“Weird,” she mumbled. “I don’t usually remember my dreams. Those are really clear.”

He rolled off to the side a bit so he could look up at her. “Because they’re not really dreams. They’re some kind of psychic ghost situation. If I do them a lot, I get really tired and drained.” Steven’s eyes widened for a moment as he thought of an example. “Oh, um, do you remember the really rainy week? Where we kept having that nightmare with you in your house? I was  _ exhausted _ that week. I couldn’t get in to fix it.”

Her shoulders tightened so much they ached. “No. That doesn’t make any sense. I didn’t want you there. I kicked you out. You should’ve gone back to your own dreamworld or whatever or gotten to sleep.”

Steven cocked his head at her. “Is that what you thought you were doing?”

_ Thunder crashed and rain poured, and she barely held it together as she shoved the eight year old in the bright star shirt out into the rain and locked the door. He yelped, but it was very important he didn’t see her like this. It was important he didn’t know. He wasn’t there and no one was there and she was going to get through this. She was always alone and she always got through it. It wasn’t okay, but it was doable. That was all that mattered. _

“I was just stuck out there in the rain,” he said, laughing a little. “I thought it was just one of those dream metaphors, you know? I want to be with you when you were scared, but I can’t get in. You know, because you were scared for me and we were apart. I probably should have figured out I was dreamwalking faster, but when I dreamwalk people are usually having crazy dreams.”

Her heart pounded as she put herself in his shoes, imagining being outside in screaming winds and slashing downpour. Her fingers covered her mouth, smothered a ragged gasp of fear and guilt. “I pushed you outside.”

“Connie, it was just a storm. I’ve got my powers in dreams. I just put myself in a bubble. A little rain never huuuu…” His eyes widened. “That one was a memory. You were  _ trapped in the thunderstorm.” _

_ When she tried to shove him out, Steven took her hands and used her momentum against her. She stumbled back against the wall, perfectly fine but out of pushing range, and Steven kicked the door closed behind him, flipping the lock shut. “Gees, you have no idea how many tries that took. I was too scared of hurting you. Can we turn the lights on?” _

_ He was shouting to be heard over the wind. Connie was twelve and alone, her parents both working late and now stuck in the near hurricane force storm that was approaching. She tried to blink back tears, but they rolled down her face all the same. “The power’s out,” she managed to shout back. _

_ “Aw, that’s-”  _

_ She couldn’t hear what he said next, as the wind howled and slammed a branch through her window. She screamed and scrambled behind the couch, and everything grew louder and colder. There was shattered glass on the floor, shattered glass that could blow up and cut her or blind her because the wind was in her house. Even hiding behind the armrest, trying to shield herself from the window, she could still feel icy cold wind on her skin. She couldn’t risk the glass to run to the stairs, so she’d be there forever, all alone, crouched and crying as her muscles cramped up from the effort of staying still and small until her house finally shook itself apart and came crashing down. _

_ The world was pink and soft and quiet instead, and Steven smiled at her from the safety of his bubble. “We’re okay. Want to talk about Spirit Morph stuff?” _

“I put you out into the rain  _ four times, _ ” she gasped, her throat tightening painfully. “You were trying to help and I pushed you out.”

“You were scared,” he said gently. “Connie, how long were you stuck there without me? In real life?”

“I don’t know for sure.” She looked away. It had felt like eternity, crouched down there. She had been paralyzed, unable to move from fear and the knowledge of what shattered glass could do to a person, until every muscle in her body burned from keeping so perfectly motionless. Except for the trembling, the painful teeth chattering trembling from the cold. She could only guess at the time she spent there. “Two to three hours, I think.”

He swore. Her head snapped back to him, because Steven didn’t  _ swear _ , and found his bubble up around them, his face close to hers. He waited, just a moment to see if she’d pull back, then lowered his forehead to rest against hers. He crawled into her lap, leaning against her, and her arms came up on instinct to carry his weight. “That’s not going to happen anymore. You’re never going to be alone in a thunderstorm. I’m never going to crawl on the floor. You carry me. I’ll bubble you. We’re in everything together from now on. Jam Buds?”

She nodded, her own voice creaky with tears. “Jam Buds.”

Connie closed the tiny gap between them, bringing their lips together.  _ It was summer, and when they kissed it tasted of brine, because they had swum out into the ocean on the most wonderful date, and nothing had ever been wrong in their lives even once. It was spring, and they kissed while Steven held their daughter in his arms, and that little girl was so very, very loved by  _ two  _ parents. It was fall, and their kiss barely worked because they were crying and whispering “I missed you so much” as they made up on Steven’s bed in the beach house. It was winter, and they kissed on the mountaintop of another world, with the brand new feeling of engagement rings on their fingers, pink and blue cold steel clicking as they held hands. _

They fell back onto white sand together, forms flickering between one body and two as they fused for intimacy and broke apart for touch, and no one was there to say whether that was the right way to do things or instruct them on how fast they needed to go or tell them who they were supposed to be. They were together, and they knew each other inside and out.

The world was right again.


End file.
